But I will say that, during those years,
while I could admire Jason’s comfortable acceptance of himself, his motivating
spirit, I was not quite ready to let go
of doubt for myself.
* let
go of: to stop focusing on something in your life
ex> It’s time you let go of
the pain you experienced in the past and start living your life again.
And over the course of a decade I
settled back into life, but I also unknowingly slipped back on those lenses of doubt.
* slip
back on: to put something back onto one’s body or personality
ex> My daughter slipped back on
her “angry teenager” persona when our guests arrived.
Because I wanted
to go so badly; but feared I wasn't good enough.
* want
something so badly: to desire something so greatly
ex> Jake wanted to go out with
Mary so badly it kept him awake at night.
The only reason I sent in that
application was because of Jason. He was reminder that if there was a chance to
live the life I wanted, I owed it to him
to go for it. And I got in.
* owe
it to someone: to be obligated to do something for someone
ex> You owe it to yourself to
take a day off from time to time.
ex> Don’t’ tell me I owe it
all to you. I worked hard to get to where I am.