So, I was juggling these messages of expectation and obligation and feeling
really miserable with myself.
* juggle: to try to handle multiple
things at the same time
ex> some people thrive on juggling
five projects at once, but not me.
So, I’d go home at night and fill up my journals about how miserable
I was and frustrated. Then I’d eat my anxiety. That’s where I learned that
habit.
* fill up: to use up all the space in
something
ex> My mom used to get angry when I
would fill up on candy right before dinner.
ex> Some artists like to fill up
the entire canvas, while others leave a lot of blank space.
They said I was too emotional. I was too much.
* too much: too difficult to handle
ex> I think being a billionaire would
be too much to handle for a simple girl like myself.
But since they didn’t want to pay out the contract, they put me on a
talk show in Baltimore.
* pay out: to fulfill a contract’s
monetary obligation
ex> Even after I finished a year at my
job, my boss didn’t want to pay out the bonus.
I realized that TV could be more than
just a playground, but a platform
for service, for helping other people lift their lives.
* platform: a place, means, or
opportunity for public expression of opinion
ex> The disc jockey used his radio
show as a platform for his political ideas.
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